tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6558504.post7031303152114910908..comments2016-07-16T14:45:43.667-04:00Comments on D.J. Free!: Oh Boy! The Holiday Season!D.J. Free!http://www.blogger.com/profile/18149708709543170148noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6558504.post-35902661473797102512010-09-22T07:27:09.901-04:002010-09-22T07:27:09.901-04:00Different reasons, DJ, but my brother has cut us o...Different reasons, DJ, but my brother has cut us out of his life for most of my kids lives. His major loss, not mine, except by his narcissistic behavior I have lost out on my niece's and nephews's lives. I do feel a loss, but I know it's better to not be in his presence. My wife and I are so much healthier emotionally by not focusing on his actions or exclusion of us.<br /><br />Focus on the supportive people in your lives, and fugure out what works best with the other people and put in an appearance but don;t expect huge changes. Stay at a nearby hotel or bed and breakfast and make it a fun vacation, then stop in for the dinner and gift exchange.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6558504.post-78688676476567204452010-09-21T15:43:07.783-04:002010-09-21T15:43:07.783-04:00Ha. Thanks, Mandy. Don't think I haven't ...Ha. Thanks, Mandy. Don't think I haven't thought about it! Perhaps the next time I broach the subject, we really should talk about having things at our place. We certainly have the room for it!<br /><br />And you're right (as is Topher). I have this sickness: I focus on the negative. I could literally have 130 loving friends and family at my wedding, and still think primarily about the ones who chose not to come. Yes, I admit it, that's what I did (well, not the day of, but the subsequent days). It's a sickness! <br /><br />*Sigh* This is why I need J - and you guys. You all remind me to accentuate the positive :)<br /><br />I think I was just throwing myself a pity party yesterday. *Think positive*D.J. Free!https://www.blogger.com/profile/18149708709543170148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6558504.post-13243112996608369952010-09-21T13:20:42.455-04:002010-09-21T13:20:42.455-04:00A big part of me wants to give you some solution o...A big part of me wants to give you some solution or help from what J and I have done. But I really have no advice, it's just really hard. I'm so sorry that you two have to go through this, especially on both sides. <br /><br />The first winter J and I just solved it by going to my family, who were supportive. Then J's family realized they had to be more accomodating or else they might not be seeing either of us in future holidays.<br /><br />The more comforting thing for me was realizing that J's brother, who would boycott the Christmas/Thanksgiving times when we were there, was the one missing out, not us. He made his decision and we made ours. While there, we realized we were having a good family time, and not being the ones missing out on the memories. So rather than focus on a brother boycotting, focus on the fact that you are experiencing what he is missing out on.Topherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13366619317428843710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6558504.post-68888368824185630612010-09-20T16:46:08.130-04:002010-09-20T16:46:08.130-04:00eh, have the holiday celebrations at your house. I...eh, have the holiday celebrations at your house. Invite them to join you in your jubilee and if they don't come - it's on them. Alternately - revel in those who do love and accept your marriage, because I saw there were at least a handful on both sides of the aisle. love to you both and may we all get through another holiday season unscathed. <br />*hugs*<br />mooAmanda Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03619367186407651332noreply@blogger.com